


fear of the water

by christphobe (orphan_account)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Melancholy, also i havent slept yet so excuse typos, editing the tags to say ive decided the takes place whenever and wherever you want it to take place, i just went wild and hopes it fit together sorry, idk what dimension this takes place in tbh, im not fishing for compliments when i say this is messy and disjointed, kalluto and alluka are here but not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 17:18:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15689880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/christphobe
Summary: (named for fear of the water by syml)thoughts tangle as easily as fishing wire, and unravel twice as difficult





	fear of the water

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote all of this in the car omw from dallas to san antonio and revised the ending on the way back and just now edited it skjdfj its not all that great but it helped me work out some feelings i was having while i was traveling its probably not spot on characterization but i hope its livable

Killua watched asphalt fly into oblivion through the side-view mirror of Gon’s car, counting miles markers in his head to tune out the loud music pouring out of the speakers. Alluka’s feet kicked against the back of his seat to the beat of the song playing, and for the briefest of moments, he regretted inviting her to sit behind him for several consecutive hours. He immediately recanted when she managed to coax a laugh out of Kalluto, who was dragged along against his will for the most part, however. Gon was singing along to the music, looking everywhere except for the road, and drumming the fingers of his right hand on Killua’s bare knee. Overall, it was the most enjoyable car ride of Killua’s life. 

He could even forgive the loud music and poorly paved road.

\----

On day three of their road trip, a sunny and devastatingly hot day, Killua decided he never wanted to go home. The thought of driving back to the empty Zoldyck estate sent his heartbeat skittering toward a flatline, and for some reason the thought refused to leave his mind. Deep in his heart, he hoped his brother and sister were enjoying their vacation without worrying about going home, but he knew them better than that. Regardless, they were splashing and swimming just fine, so Killua made the decision to turn a blind eye to the concept. 

The August breeze shook the blinds of their hotel room, scattering rays of sunlight across the ceiling. Pushing up into a seated position, unfortunately having to peel the sheets from his skin, Killua rubbed at his eyes in hopes of banishing his bags. The door opened, wafting stale air into his air conditioned paradise, so he dropped his hands to his lap, prepared to feign a headache if Alluka was fetching him for Marco Polo. But it was only Gon. No use lying, he supposed, and turned to face him head-on.

Gon’s hair, wilted like weeping willow tresses and smelling heavily of chlorine, dripped rhythmically onto the hotel carpet with every step he took closer. He spoke, but the words registered as white noise, soothing but indistinct. In any other situation, Killua would reject the smearing of pool water across his face, but having Gon close enough to touch made his head spin. So he just let Gon lean into him, tilting his head to rest his temple against sun-warmed skin. The stress building in the pit of his stomach ebbed away with the sensation of Gon’s fingers curling against his side. He considered how hard it’d be to go off the grid and live in the ghost of how happy he was being away from home.

\---

Hotel mattresses were typically either far too soft or far too firm to sleep comfortably atop, and the third hotel they stopped at was no exception. High thread count cradled Killua’s body as he tossed and turned, unable to find a position that supported his back and neck at the same time. His third barrel roll earned a flick to the ear from Gon, who’d conked out within seconds of hitting the bed regardless of how formless the mattress was. The alarm clock glared at him with red eyes when he finally settled on a position. 

Lying on his side would have to do, as Killua wasn’t looking to keep the whole room up all night with his restless twisting. Kalluto had enough trouble sleeping, after all. Instead of sleeping he occupied his mind with connecting the freckles dusted across Gon’s eyelids into constellations for his eyes only. He shut his own eyes when he subconsciously began chasing the darker, more noticeable freckles down the swell of Gon’s cheeks, full of embarrassment he couldn’t give a name to.

Sleep hit him without warning, washing over him like warm water.

\---

The last stretch of driving, to the last hotel and then back home again, was the roughest. The kids slept in the backseat, eased by the smooth road and quiet thrum of classical music. Signs shot past the car like bullets, advertising rest stops and restaurants that Killua’s eyes were too slow to catch. Gon talked out loud, expecting no answers and smiling when he received acknowledgment from the passenger seat. He was always easy to talk to.

Killua dozed off with his head on the edge of his backrest to a myriad of feelings; chapped lips on henna tattoo stains, aching in his heart, and overwhelming warmth. 

\---

The last hotel was the most welcoming, with two beds big enough that no one had to sleep on the floor and yet another indoor pool to satisfy Alluka’s high energy. Kalluto stayed behind to watch TV, but was asleep before he found anything good to watch. Killua tucked the blankets around him and ratcheted the volume down to provide a better environment for sleep.

Gon laughed at him when he returned to their shared bed, earning a well-deserved shove met with quiet laughter. Their roughhousing continued no further, out of respect for the rest Kalluto so obviously needed and the annoying creak of the bed frame. Instead of wrestling, they lied face-to-face, mumbling about how much fun they were having until it started to feel forced. From there, the conversation diverted to going home. Killua had to have hesitated, because Gon did too, sighing without looking upset.

“You don’t have to say it, y’know. I already know.” Gon said like he knew exactly what word was spinning like a top on the tip of Killua’s tongue.

And so Killua didn’t say it, instead reaching out to lay a hand against the curve of Gon’s profile, fingertips brushing short eyelashes on their way. Somewhere along the way, the rest of him moved as well, foreheads meeting with an inaudible bump. Being close was a luxury Killua would soon not afford, so he drank up the opportunity while it still existed, allowing his eyes to fall shut. Gon returned the affection with featherlight kisses to Killua’s brow and the the gentility could have shattered them both. 

Alluka returned after they’d fallen victim to sleep as well, woven together like tangled fishing wire. She hadn’t the heart to wake them.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if there are any glaring mistakes ig lmao


End file.
